In a time of personal pain some years ago, I pondered the question of whether I knew what love is. I prayed and counseled, meditated and studied, talked and thought and listened, and looked deep within myself. Do I know what love is? My personal pain was eased somewhat as I learned more fully what love is, and my hope is that far more of the world would learn the essence of love as well.

The world is in pain today, as yet another war threatens and terrorism spreads and people kill and lie and steal and abuse others. If more people - more national and world leaders - knew what love is and practiced it in their decisions and actions, our mutual pain could be eased somewhat. What, then, is the essence of love?

The Christian scriptures say clearly - and would not all religions and people of good will agree? - that God is love. God’s essential nature is love, compassion, grace, and mercy. And those who love God also love people. Those who love others also love God. A compassionate, gracious, and merciful love comes from God and is demonstrated to people by those who love God.

People have differing ideas of what love is, of course. But I think one phrase in the scriptures drives to the core of love: “Love does no harm.” All that God desires for us can be summed up in this, it says, that love does no harm to others. When we love, we do not abuse, lie, steal, kill, or deceive. We are faithful, honest, trustworthy, gentle, kind, patient, and forgiving. Not just individuals, but communities and nations as well.

Jesus once said that when we feed the hungry, clothe the poor, visit the sick and the prisoner, we do this not just for “one of the least” of people, we do it for him. And when we fail to care for the poor and people in need, we fail to care for him. Is it not also true, then, that when we do harm to another human being - deceive or kill, for instance - we do harm to Jesus? And that when we choose to do only what is good for other human beings, we choose to do good for Jesus?

These are not idle thoughts, nice religious ideas; this is the essence of life itself. Life and love are one, and God who gave us life desires every decision and action of our lives to be shaped and stirred by love - by a compassionate, gracious, merciful love. By a love that chooses to do no harm to another human being. By a love that chooses to do only good to even “the least of these.”

We are tempted to criticize others for not loving. We easily see how the violence of terrorism or war does harm to others, and so we condemn those who choose such actions. But, of course, we blame “the other” as the one responsible. We see how the lies, deceit, and manipulation of leaders bring harm to their people and to other nations, and we condemn that. But we usually lay the blame on “the other” nation. Using the same ideas of love as a basis, we oppose the causes of others and support our own and end up condemning one another over such things as the death penalty, abortion, gay and lesbian rights, and sexuality. Is this the way of love?

If love does no harm, then love chooses respectful language as we speak with those with whom we disagree and even oppose. Love that does no harm chooses nonviolence in verbal and emotional confrontation, as well as physical. Love that does no harm chooses not to demean or diminish another human being. Love does not tear down, but builds up. Love does not destroy in order to rebuild as it wants. Love challenges what is wrong and stands up against injustice, but it does so with respect and honor toward “the other.”

We may not be able to stop the war or end terrorism. We may not be able to bring about what we see as good and just. At least we may not do it today. If there is any hope that this world will change, we must change. If we hope that others will learn what love is, we must learn and live it in our daily decisions and actions. I must look into my own heart rather than condemn what is another’s heart. I must look into my soul since I cannot see into another’s. I will choose to do no harm today or tomorrow to another human being - not verbally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. I will choose to do only what is good for the other, as well as for myself. I will speak with respect and honor the person, however much I disagree with that person. I will not demean, diminish, or tear down. I will challenge what is wrong and stand up for justice and do it with love.

Love can never be reserved only for those who love us, for those we count as friends. Jesus also called us to love our enemies. How can I seek to destroy those I love, even if they hate me? How can I do verbal or physical harm to those I choose to love, even though they choose not to love me? The path to peace is the way of love, and it is a demanding, difficult path to walk. Yet it is the only path that leads to life for ourselves and for the world. The way of love is the only path to healing of our pain. It is the only path to God, for it is the path opened up by God. Let us walk it together.

Copyright 2003 by Jimmy Reader